she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My life is pants optional.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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