I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
