You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
