ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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