I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
