Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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