in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
she told me i tasted like america
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
