I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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