The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
