Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
