a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
