Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
