Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
