I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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