Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Randomize
