I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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