i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
