Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
