I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
