its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
