I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
