I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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