So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
