i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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