I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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