office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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