sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
