every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
