her vagina looked like bernie madoff
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
