They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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