You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
