Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
