stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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