the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
