Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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