i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
