I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
