not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
