What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
