So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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