I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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