Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
