You're completely useless in the revolution.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
