We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
