and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
