is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
