I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
