Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
