I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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