last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
