Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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