We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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