There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
