Little spoons don't ask big questions
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
