Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
