i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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