Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
